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Published Works |
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| Maggie Van Ostrand's columns and articles cover more topics than Washington has lobbyists. Each is listed below, with a descriptive blurb. We don't know what a blurb is, but Maggie thinks they may be useful here. |
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Daddy, Tell Me A Story
To accommodate U.S. personnel stationed overseas, the new-age solution to the age-old plea from children, "Daddy, tell me a story," is to have military parents record bedtime stories onto DVDs for their offspring back in the States.
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Oscar Moms
At last count, no fewer than nine winners thanked their moms. In two cases, Best Actor Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Best Actress Reese Witherspoon, enough praise was heaped on their respective moms to satisfy the heart of every watching parent. What about the rest of us mothers?
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Oscar
Some of us remember the big stars because we imitated their behavior. We had Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn as role models. We hoped their elegance would be contagious. Who are the role models today? Emaciated Uma Thurman? Battling Russell Crowe?
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Voice Lift
Maybe the doctors are right if they suggest voice-lift surgery. Why pay a plastic surgeon a fortune to get a nose like Halle Berry's, lips like Angelina Jolie's, and have as much fat sucked off your hips as Anna Nicole, if father time assigns you a voice like Harvey Fierstein?
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Don Churrero
The churro cannot be "made," it can only be created. Further, the churro's creator must be touched by the hand of God himself, for to partake of the delights of a churro is to know heaven on earth.
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Friday the 13th
Friday the 13th is upon us and, despite our best efforts to resist that which we don't believe we believe, superstitions rule the day.
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Interview With Baby New Year
Have you ever wondered about the gender of the New Year's Eve baby? It's probably male, considering that outfit. No girl baby would go out wearing just a diaper and a chest banner with the year on it, especially not in January when one's nipples react to the cold weather.
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Christmas Past
There's a way to have your best Christmas ever, without spending a dime.
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Thanksgiving and The Little Table
Aside from puberty, nothing paves the way to adulthood like graduating from the children's little Thanksgiving table to the big grown-up table.
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The Mallomar
Mallomars, those delectable, delicious, divine dumplings of desire. One Mallomar is too many and a thousand are not enough.
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©2021 Maggie Van Ostrand, all rights
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