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Published Works |
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| Maggie Van Ostrand's columns and articles cover more topics than Washington has lobbyists. Each is listed below, with a descriptive blurb. We don't know what a blurb is, but Maggie thinks they may be useful here. |
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Guilt
Guilt can be an extremely useful tool in every day living, especially if you're a parent. If applied wisely to the tender minds of children, guilt can be made to last a lifetime.
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Top Ten New Year's Resolutions
Unable to achieve world peace in 2006 as I had resolved to do last New Year's Eve, I decided it was probably a better idea to keep my 2007 Resolutions simpler.
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Deporting Santa Claus
American Press reports the U.S. Department of Immigration apprehended Santa Claus attempting to illegally enter the United States from Mexico. He was caught trying to maneuver his sleigh over a fence recently erected by the Border Patrol.
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Christmas Shopping
Even Santa is having problems with globalization when his suit runs red in the laundry, and shrinks to the size of an elf.
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Rachael Bites Into Martha
It's not that Martha isn't good at everything, but her pseudo uppercrusty attitude puts her in a class the average woman cannot identify with. It's that Rachael's one of us, and Martha's one of them.
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The Day After
The worst part isn't the clean-up after serving the turkey dinner to about a thousand relatives in your dining room. The worst part is that those same relatives include your grown kids and their families who should think about "doing" Thanksgiving themselves instead of coming home like they still live here.
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Fear of Thanksgiving
Unless you're planning to eat your Thanksgiving meal in Baghdad, Kabul, or Guantanamo, it seems a waste of hard-earned fear to follow the government's instructions about holiday food preparation. Does the government have to get into everything?
Well, yes, apparently they do.
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Being Santa
Are you feeling the financial pinch of Christmas already and it's not even Thanksgiving yet? Are you grousing about spending your hard-earned cash on adults as well as children? Are you thinking that Ebenezer Scrooge was absolutely right when he grumbled, "Bah, Humbug!" and are you considering cancelling Christmas this year?
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Scarier Than Halloween
There's a reason elections take place right after Halloween. Politicians ethically deprived brains have a motto: Trick or Trick.
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The Undead
Halloween is right around the October corner and we just had a Friday the 13th. If that's not enough to get your hackles raised, consider the undead who may be lurking at the bottom of your own bed.
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