The Pig Book
by Maggie Van Ostrand
We make celebrities out of special pigs like Babe, Piglet, Porky and Petunia, the Three Little Pigs and Miss Piggy. But what about the loathsome ones listed in "The Congressional Pig Book," by Citizens Against Government Waste (CAGW). They call it "the little pink book Washingon doesn't want you to read."
Because Congress is much funnier than any humorist who ever lived, it wasn't necessary to embellish what they're doing with the money you slaved to earn and reported April 15th on your 1040s.
“It’s that time of year again,” CAGW President Tom Schatz said. “The time of year where Americans are forced to shell out exorbitant sums of money to fund inefficient and inept government programs.”
According to the 2005 Congressional Pig Book, which compiles the wasteful pet projects of gluttonous appropriators, Congress managed to shove 13,997 pork projects into 13 appropriations bills, for a total of $27.3 BILLION. That's almost as much as Bill Gates makes in an hour.
Despite record budget deficits, members of Congress have increased both the number and cost of pork for their home districts and states to record amounts.
Here are the Pig Book "Oinkers" of 2005, "recognizing dogged perserverance in the mad pursuit of pork," for which we are are footing the bill:
$4,989,000 to Hot Springs National Parks to rehabilitate/stabilize bathhouses for adaptive reuse in Arkansas
$1,790,000 for berry research in Alaska
$1,500,000 to the Missouri Historical Society for an archive relating to the Congressional career of the Honorable Richard A. Gephardt
$1,148,000 for dietary intervention in Ohio
$1,000,000 for the Oklahoma City Water Taxi
$1,000,000 for the World Birding Center Administrative Building/Visitor Center, Texas
$874,000 to the Center for Food Industry Excellence in Texas
$700,000 to Saint Joseph's University for an anti-obesity program.
$500,000 for the Lewis and Clark explorer shuttle parking in Oregon
$472,000 for dairy farm profitability in Pennsylvania
$125,000 for the USA Stars Cultural Exchange and Diversity Training: Alcohol and Obesity Education Through Sport with Oklahoma Judo
$100,000 for the Sistas and Brothas alternatives to gangs and drugs in New York
$121,250 for the Utah Shakespearean Festival
$80,000 to the San Diego Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center
$75,000 to Pennsylvania for hides and leather research
$50,000 for animal waste treatment in South Carolina
$6.3 million for wood utilization research
$100,000 for the Tiger Woods Foundation
$1.7 million to Alabama for the International Fertilizer Development Association
$399 million to Senator Robert Byrd (D-W. Va.) for West Virginia pork
$469,000 for the National Wildlife Turkey Federation in South Carolina, supporting wild turkey hunting as a traditional sport
$100,000 for the Lake Oswego historic iron smelter in Oregon
$3.3 million for start-up operations at the Capitol Visitor Center
$350,000 to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland for music education programs
$2 million for the buyback of the USS Sequoia Presidential Yacht
1.4 million for various Halls of Fame including the Greater Syracuse Sports Hall of Fame ($75,000) and the Paper Industry Hall of Fame in Appleton, Wisconsin ($70,000)
$300,000 for Anaheim Resort Transit (that's Disneyland) bus and bus fabilities in the district of Rep. Loretta Sanchez (D-Calif.)
$200,000 for the Weed It Now project in the Taconic Mountains in Connecticut, Maine, and New York
$25,000 to Clark County School District in Nevada for curriculum development to study mariachi music
$23.8 million in High Intensity Drug Trafficking Area Program grants
$646 million to Senator Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) for local projects. That's $985 per capita. He's been at the top of the pork list for the last four years.
8.2 million for the Ft. Lewis Army Chapel, which offers diverse services for Christians, hews, Muslims, and Wiccans
All this, and conservative columnist George Will says it's just a "blip in the overall budget. It is trivial as a sum of money."
"My favorite this year is the $100,000 for the Punxsatawny Weather Discovery Center Museum. We are now funding groundhogs," said Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., a longtime critic of congressional pork, who attended the release of CAGW's report.
Do you think Washington's going to buy something cuter for Phil the Groundhog to wear next year than the fur coat he's already got?
I just wish they'd keep their cloven hooves out of our piggy banks.
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