December 26, 2024


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Santa Cleared for Flight by U.S. Dept. of Transportation

by Maggie Van Ostrand


"Kris Kringle, d.b.a Santa Claus, got the green light from the U.S. Department of Transportation (DOT) to engage in air travel to various points throughout the United States the night of Dec. 24-25," states the U.S. Government.

"An order granting a flight certificate and signed by U.S. Transportation Secretary Rodney E. Slater said that Santa Claus was 'exceptionally fit, as well as joyfully willing and uniquely able to engage in the interstate air transportation for which he has requested a certificate.' The Secretary added that Santa has a 100 percent on-time arrival record, having never failed to deliver all of his toys by Christmas morning.

"Before issuing the certificate, the Secretary performed a safety inspection of Santa Claus‚ sleigh at Federal Aviation Administration‚s headquarters and pronounced the sleigh fit for travel. Children from FAA‚s child development center witnessed the signing.

"In his application, Santa Claus described himself as a citizen of the world residing at the North Pole who performs a vital and specialized transportation service. 'The points to be served are the dwelling places of good girls and boys, as well as adults of goodwill, throughout the United States,' Claus said in his application.

"The applicant notes that his operating proposal will meet the air service requirements of countless small communities, and also will serve the major transportation hubs in all regions.

"Santa Claus also told DOT that his sleigh will be powered by eight tiny reindeer, with the addition of a possible ninth reindeer with a special Air Navigation Warning Light in (her) nose, in the event of fog or heavy snow.

"The DOT said that no one has opposed the application, and Mr. Claus disclosed several million letters of support from children everywhere. 'In these circumstances, it appears that a grant of the applicant‚s request is in the highest public interest, and so we have moved forward expeditiously on his request.'"

It's nice to know that Santa's different. He doesn't need a green card to avoid immigration problems.

©2013 Maggie Van Ostrand, all rights reserved.

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