Talking Turkey With Butterball
by Maggie Van Ostrand
It's that time of year fit only for kids, husbands, and friends. For the cook, it's a time of planning, hard work, and head-throbbing anxiety.
Long-lost people can show up at your house, from those who tracked you down through an internet detective ("Whatever happened to so-and-so from high school?"), your kids who never did understand why you became so happy after they left home, to those of mere nodding acquaintance, can all turn up at your front door knowing you're too polite to say you never invited them.
Don't despair. Just cancel the cruise you had been planning for 20 years, and call Butterball's help line (1-800-Butterball). Any one of their 50 specialists will, like Mighty Mouse, be there to save the day. There's even a bilingal representative, should you prefer assistance in Spanish. There's no limit to their knowledge and cooperation in all things culinary, and then some.
"100% of our hotline specialists have Bachelor Degrees in some food-related field. 37% have Masters Degrees, 65% are nutritionists, dietitians, and home economists in real life," says Mary Clingman, Director of the Butterball Turkey Hotline, who has been there for over 20 years. Over 100,000 calls during the months of November and December are handled by Butterball's specialists, who dispense valuable turkey cooking tips from thawing to storage, carving to grilling, and how to best utilize the leftovers.
Mary shared the hotline's favorite questions:
"I buried my turkey in a snowbank and called Butterball to find out how to thaw it. Only now I can't find it. What should I do?"
"How do you prepare a turkey for people who don't eat meat?"
"I'm calling from a cell phone and I'm walking up and down the aisles in the grocery store. I don't know what to get for Thanksgiving dinner. Will you walk with me and tell me what to buy?"
"I know you're all about turkeys, but can you help me make cookies?"
"I lost a bet on a football game and now I have to fix Thanksgiving dinner for 20 people. How does a guy do that?"
Would you believe there's a Butterball University? It's a week-long training session for Butterball Turkey hotline experts, and the Director of Butterball Kitchens, Sherleen Clausen (another 20-year veteran), has also served as the personal turkey tutor for an NBC Today Show feature reporter, as well as many other TV shows preparing for the holidays.
Any problems will be patiently and successfully resolved by a Butterball specialist, even if the turkey you bought is another brand. You're only asked the turkey's weight and type of oven you plan to use.
Whatever your problem, it cannot be as bad as that of the lady who called and said, "The doorbell is ringing, everybody's here, but the turkey is still frozen solid. Can I serve it anyway?"
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