Super Bowl for Women
by Maggie Van Ostrand
No matter what they say, men do not want women in sports. I
suppose there could be one exception: women’s basketball, and then only if they
didn’t wear bras. Otherwise, never mind the dirty looks from their wives and
daughters, female colleagues, or even the equal rights legal stuff that says
they have to let us in. They simply do not want women journalists in locker
rooms, announcing sport events, or on the back of a horse in the Kentucky
Derby.
Women know this. Women do not care. Women will do it all anyway.
But what about the Super Bowl? Have men at last created a
devious way to defeat us, a method so diabolically clever that it is actually worthy of womanhood itself?
We may well have a favorite team and have already phoned our
bookies but what we cannot do is figure out which Super Bowl is being played.
Take the game this coming Sunday. It’s between the New England Patriots and the
New York Giants. Where is it being played? In Indianapolis. And that’s just the
start. It’s called “Super Bowl XLVI.” What?
On the front of Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, workers
already installed a giant sign that just says XLVI. Why they aren’t even called
numbers, they’re called numerals. What’s that about anyway?
It has to be a man plot. Super Bowl use of Roman numerals
only started in 1971, same year women in Switzerland were finally allowed to
vote. This sounds like a Revenge Move to me.
What, they can’t call this Sunday’s game Super Bowl 46?
It’s definitely a plot against women. The numbers may be
Roman, but they’re all Greek to me.
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