THE GREEN CARPET
by Maggie Van Ostrand
There's a possibility that the Writers' Strike will be settled soon, allowing movie stars to once again glide along the Red Carpet into Hollywood's Kodak Theatre for the Academy Awards. So what? That's small potatoes.
The carpet that's really important isn't red, it's green. And the stars walking on it are walking on all fours. Should anyone from the media ask them "Who are you wearing?" the answer wouldn't be Vera Wang, Chanel or Versace; it would be "I'm wearing myself, who else?"
I'm talking about the Real Awards show -- The Dog Show. There are just as many celebrities in the dog world as in the movie world, and wagging tails are even more plentiful. No make-up, no butt lifts, no steroids. And their teeth are their own.
The formally dressed judges for each type of dog, including the biggie: Best in Show, wield as much influence in the canine field as celebrities do at the Oscars. Maybe more. Talk about your blue bloods, there are more on this carpet than on all of Park Avenue.
What was I saying? Oh yes, I was talking about the carpet at the dog show. It amazes me that this carpet remains unsullied (as in dry) and I sometimes ponder how that can be, considering such high-strung pedigree dogs in an arena of high stakes, big bucks, and sizzling excitement. No matter, they probably have their own bathrooms, unless of course they're trained not to go when they're walking the green carpet.
Unlike equally high-strung, dog-eat-dog actors at the Oscars who clutch their award with trembling hands, let fall tears of gratitude, and thank everyone they ever met, dogs maintain a noble dignity and exhibit stately classic discipline. Especially the normally mischievous terrier for whom such regal behavior must be exceedingly difficult. Terriers always seem to give the distinct impression that they rather enjoy the judge's fiddling at their hind ends, though I assume their counterparts at the Oscars would smack down anyone who fiddled with theirs. Then again, maybe not.
At the front end of a dog, the judge lifts their upper lips and paws about in their mouths, presumably checking incisor quality, while the trainer, at the southern end, holds the dog's tail straight up in the air, leaving an audience of socialites and celebrities to hope that the dog has not eaten beans for dinner.
A Dandie Dinmont (a breed, not a sandwich), whose real name is Ch Hobergays Fineus Fogg, nicknamed "Harry," wins a lot -- 57 times in 2006, a year he was not just top terrier, he was Top Dog. This has nothing to do with his famous owner, Bill Cosby, it's because he's the best Dandie Dinmont walking the green carpet. Besides, even though he didn't win Best in Show at the 2007 Westminster Dog Show, he certainly won People's Choice. He strutted that carpet like the champion he is and played to his adoring fans, bringing them to their feet with a roar of "Har-ry! Har-ry!" The New York Times said "Harry, a 6-year-old Dandie Dinmont, is a cross between a Dachshund and a big-headed poodle with a bad haircut. His mug and manner delight Cosby, his co-owner," while the Patriot-News said "Cosby's presence won't matter much, because the dog (which resembles a giant Q-tip) owns the limelight." MSNBC said Harry had an abundance of "the cute factor." Even Brad Pitt doesn’t get that kind of press coverage.
For people who like to carpet watch, this year's green carpet Westminster Dog Show will be at Madison Square Garden February 11-12, while the Oscars, with or without red carpet, will be at the Kodak Theater on February 24. ###
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